| i move to the sound of rain drops falling on a ketchup bottle. |
[04 Jan 2005|07:26pm] |
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mood |
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frisky |
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music |
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Clay Aiken |
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i'm grounded.
but i still love you, and your family.
i enjoy the solitude.
My guitar sings me to sleep at night.
I'm growing my hair out, because I want to put it in a ponytail and dye it blonde.
Lately I've been doing nothing. Every once in a while I pee.
Can anybody teach me how to play chess? It's such a lovely game.
hearts like whoa.
Aly Nunes is hot.
But not hotter than Oprah.
oh no, not at all.
Eyebrows are pointless. They're like happy trails that lead to the outsides of your head.
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[02 Nov 2004|08:04pm] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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so.
long time since i last updated huh. nothing much has happened since the last time.
i learned new guitar songs. all i do is play guitar. it makes me happy. i play guitar and sleep. thats my life.
heh.
yea as for my relationship life. well its non-existant. i want one, but at the same time i don't. scared. well nothing i can do about it.
anyway, who is there. is there anyone out there that would date me. ANYONE. im not picky. im nice. i hold doors and shit. man its horrible that i can't find someone.
wow. sorry i subjected you to that journal entry. realy pointless. im gonna go.
i would play guitar but my string broke, so i think i'll just hang myself with it. haha.
later
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[03 Oct 2004|10:18pm] |
im just making this entry, so that i can remember beth wrights number.
774-451-3389.
bye
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[30 Sep 2004|08:09pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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music |
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the descendants |
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half day today. much needed, might i add.
went to raja's house with callie, chaz, beth, liz, craig, jessie, and aliza. good times. funny kids right there.
home now. realy have nothing to right about. but eh.
i went to the field hockey game. it was ok. jessie almost got her ass kicked by some ghetto girls. actually all it involed was them telling jessie that she should dress like them.
some little kids, whom refered to beth as "big titties girl", asked us for ciggerettes. they were like 10! crazy kids.
i got nothing to say.
bye
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[25 Sep 2004|11:08pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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the killers- mr. brightside |
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just got home from working. im tired. so tired.
got work again tomorrow morning, at 9:30 am. fucking great.
i almost lost my job tonight. so close. theres this asshole at one of my tables, and he likes the green beans i guess. so he says "hey you". which is bad enough because he was talking like i was a fucking dog, "can wrap these green beens up for me". so i say, im sry sir im not alowed to do that. and he says "how about i rep you in your face". i laughed. and i said excuse me. so he gets up, and gets right in my face, and repeats himself. so i said " how about you sit the fuck down before i beat the shit out of you and embarrass you in front of all these people". i guess he realized i wasn't playing, cuz he sat right the fuck down. and didn't say shit the rest of the night. and on top of it, his hot g/f was flirting with me all night. ha. fuck you asshole.
other than that it was ok. but people piss me off. they're so anal. they go to a wedding someone else payed for and act like they own the place. and they are so freaking cheap. god forbid i take a glass off the table with an ice cube in it. "hey! im gonna drink that!" well mam you can't fucking drink ice. and anyway, there is a pitcher of water on the table, and you haven't drank any of it! i don't get it. stupid people. then im trying to clear a table and this lady is hording everything from butter to wine glasses, i don't know why but she was so paranoid that i'd take something she might need later on. like, salt, and pepper, and a dirty water glass. let it go! i know its tough but just let it go.
one of these days im gonna sneak behind of of those people and grab their glass and run, just flat out sprint to the kitchen. they'd prob chase me down. yelling "i need that glass! im not done with that ice!
::sigh:: well, thats all for now.
later
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[23 Sep 2004|08:49pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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the killers |
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im sick. school worries me. im still hopelessly in love.
Jealousy turning snakes into the sea
Swimming threw sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just a price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I’m Mr. Brightside
im wonderful.
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[20 Sep 2004|07:58pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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the killers |
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well fhs is where i now "hang my hat" so to speak.
last week on monday i told my mom i wanted to go back. on wednesday im called out of my related class and told to go get my sign out slip. im going back to fairhaven. surprise for me, along with everyone else.
good to be back with my good friends. glad to see everyone. except you.
all that anger is finally showing. i hate you for what you did. not you, realy, just hate you for it. theres hate there for something. thats for sure.
today was a long day. went for some breakfast this morning. got a shitty bagel. and i was so excited to see a french vanilla late thing. little did i knwo that it realy didn't contain caffine. it was flavored hot chocolate! i was pissed. damn lunch ladies. they don't know the meaning of a real addiction. like that of a coffee addiction.
well im moving on. slowly but surely. anyone want to accompany me to homecoming? i don't want to go alone. that would be depressing.
dances always seem to depress me for some reason. haven't quite figured it out. maybe tarrot card lady can tell me that one.
she is all knowing afterall.
buy something from ebth wright. if she sells enough, then she will win a compact dvd player.
well i have nothing happy to write about. so im done
enjoi
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[20 Sep 2004|07:44pm] |
well fhs is where i now "hang my hat" so to speak.
last week on monday i told my mom i wanted to go back. on wednesday im called out of my related class and told to go get my sign out slip. im going back to fairhaven. surprise for me, along with everyone else.
good to be back with my good friends. glad to see everyone. except you.
today was a long day. went for some breakfast this morning. got a shitty bagel. and i was so excited to see a french vanilla late thing. little did i knwo that it realy didn't contain caffine. it was flavored hot chocolate! i was pissed. damn lunch ladies. they don't know the meaning of a real addiction. like that of a coffee addiction.
well im moving on. slowly but surely. anyone want to accompany me to homecoming? i don't want to go alone. that would be depressing.
dances always seem to depress me for some reason. haven't quite figured it out. maybe tarrot card lady can tell me that one.
she is all knowing afterall.
buy something from ebth wright. if she sells enough, then she will win a compact dvd player.
well i have nothing happy to write about. so im done
enjoi
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[11 Sep 2004|10:59pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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dcfc- lack of color |
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i know i said i was done. but this is good stuff.
so i work at the century house now. im a waiter. third job for some reason,. im crazy. but anyway. this big black women calls me over (by name because she was very social with em all night). she says she needs to tell me something. when i lean in. she grabs my head and plants one right on my cheek. ive never been more horrified.
so im serving people and stuff and i get my ass pinched! its some white women who is like 80 years old! hate it. do these people think its chip and dales or something. seriously. i didn't even get a tip for that stuff.
it was ok other than that. easy work. i was good all night, being busy took my mind off things somewhat. not realy. but then the asshole dj has to play "baby im amazed by you". that freakin cheered me right the fuck up.
thats my story.
enjoi.
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[09 Sep 2004|10:41pm] |
im done with this journal shit.
im done with everything.
goodbye.
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[07 Sep 2004|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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death cab for cutie- passeger seat |
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so. last night hung out at ryans house. didn't feel much like going home, so i just fell asleep on the couch and stayed there. woke up wondering where the hell i was. heh. it was like a drunken episode without the alcohol. you gotta meet me in the morning.
so i came home. i was bored so i worked on the VW. made some parts welded them on. its gonna be finished this week.
after that i sat around. i was the only one home. so i was bored. but, i made the best of it. slept. ate. tv. loud music. guitar. at least i had the company of my loyal companion casey.
stumbled upon that paper plate. that thing follows me around i swear. so i looked at it. spaced out. finally i snapped out of it.
tomorrow is the first day of school. had to happen eventually. oh well. i can deal.
i can't wait for college. and boston. i love boston.
eh. i got nothing to say. im in one of those melancholy moods.
enjoi.
oh yea i almost forget. upon request, this entry is hereby dedicated to TAYLOR JANE GALARY. congrats kid.
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[05 Sep 2004|09:53pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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death cab for cutie- expo '86 |
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well yesterday was fun. nothing realy all day. well. i got a new cd. death cab for cutie. its great.
i also bought a new hat. at soltice. along with some parts for my board that were much needed. feels good to skate again.
played some pool with my dad. i kicked his ass. like usual. ima little pool hall hustler.
after that i rented a movie and went over to jill's. i can go in the house now!! for those of you who don't know what happened, me shirtless in bed with ehr was disrespectful i guess. so her mom banned me from the house. but now shes over it. taylor went over. good to hang with her. her hair is dark. i love it. i love dark hair.
neth also joined us afterwards. we watched what's eating gilbert grape. very depressing movie. but good.
man. i almost forgot. i was at my dad's and he asked if i wanted any of his vinyls. of course i said yes. they're classic. the doors, rolling stones, beatles, the who, even some barry white! he also gave me his old turntable. for those of you who don't know what that is (sadly), its a record player. belt driven. its great. gotta get a new belt, but when that happens, we will all have an old school party.
tonight i went to the feast. ate. saw people. people from fairhavem high whom i haven't seen for a while. good i guess. eh. i could tell they weren't happy to see me at all. they hate me. except for sam and meg. i love those two. got some loving embraces. and flattering.
earlier today worked my first day at the century house. i have 3 jobs. im crazy. it was ok. saw erika there. shes a cool kid. served her. i astounded everyone with my ability to pick up a tray of dishes the improper way which is 10x more straining than the proper way that i was later taught.
boring day.
goodnight.
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[01 Sep 2004|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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music |
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ben kweller- down |
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well everyone started school today except for us nb kids. lucky us. i just say around all morning. time creeped by.
at 2 i got a ride to fhs. saw some familiar faces, said hi to a few people. then me katie and jill went to kate's house and sat around and ate and watched tv. like the lazy kids we are. but, no complaints, good company, good food, and always good sleep.
was looking foward to taylor coming but she wasn't in the mood. kirstin and kelsey were going to also but those three amigos decided not to. oh well.
i hate it. i know i bitch a lot. lol. but, it just seems that each day we drift farther and farther apart and no matter how hard i try i can't do anything about it. but as mr. bizquit says, well, not his original words but he said it well, "gotta have faith". ha. and so the saga continues, and i wait.
the hours the creep, patterns run deep. don't be concerned, you know i'll be fine on my own. i never said don't go.
dashboard is great, but it always depresses me. ill listnin to some ben kweller. hes a feel good kinda of guy.
well thats my story folks. nothing exciting but thats how the end of summer goes.
enjoi.
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[31 Aug 2004|05:58pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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ben kweller- tonight im on my way |
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well today started out pretty uneventful. just woke up, cleaned my room. played guitar for a while. when my mom got home she said we were going to the wrenthem outlets to shop for school.
got a couple pairs of new shoes and a bunch of clothes, thats always fun. other that that it was a boring day.
when i got home i went to kyle and played some halo. thats about it. exciting huh. but. unlike some other peopel i have no obligation to kill myself today trying to do every possible thing i can. why? because nb doesn't start till next wed. its great.
for the rest of the day ill do what i usually do. sleep, eat, music. thats about it.
wish i could say something like see ya'll later. if only i was southern.
good luck in school tomorrow anyone. and i'm not just trying to be an asshole.
enjoi.
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[30 Aug 2004|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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of montreal |
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what a day. man oh man. where do i start?
well, i woke up to the phone ringing. thats usually how it happens because i sleep till 11 or 12 everyday. it was jill. pleasent surprise. asked if i could go to providence place on the bus with her and kate bruce. mom said yea. i had no idea what was in store.
let's just say we didn't realy have plans. went to wal-mart and caught a bus to the terminal in dowtown nb. caught a bus to some random terminal in providence off the highway and nowhere near the mall. damn. but have no fear andrew saved the day. or so i thought. i spoke up, took charge, and got a cab. so we arrive at the mall after paying 3 dollars more than the cab driver said it would be. we were starving so we decided to go get food. popeyes chicken. mmm. they got chinese. crab rangoon with a little too much crab in it. so once again i take charge and see if we can get a bus from the station right near the mall instead of the other one. turns out theres a free shuttle that goes to and fomr the terminal. so our cab fare was wasted. god damnit. but live and learn as i say. so we wander the mall and go in random stores. found a great blazer in bananna republic. tried it on. kate and jill wanted to have their way with me on the spot. made me happy.
after we went in stores that only depressed because we couldn't afford what we wanted, we found a better store. it had 10 cent candy. great sounding huh. i love those little space ship shaped wafers with candy bits inside. mmm. they had them so i got a few. and they had great sounding lollypops. i got a root beer float one. also got some pop rocks and a highly recomended black berry soda thing. so we left and wanderd some more. i tried a space ship candy. ever have that floride paste at the dentist? well it turns out the little candies were a sour powder, and between the taste and the texture it was exactly like the floride. i almost threw up on the spot. when we got back to the terminal i tried the lollypop. nope. wasn't good either. great luck aye. it was horrible. threw it out.
when you are hurt you heal others.
when you're in need you give.
because of you im living the most that i can live.
ben kweller folks. got his cd today. along with of montreal. they're both insaine. but great. we went to border books. i love that place. so i bought the of montreal, jill bought a book, kate bruce went crazy and spent 50 on 3 cd's. crazy girl. but i love her for it. the guy said that it was buy 3 get one free. so like a wonderful friend she got the ben kweller cd i wanted also but couldn't buy. i love you kate thank you. great girl right there. she's single too. want her number? let me know.
but anyway. im home now. what a great day. thanks guys. took my mind of the everyday routine of feeling sorry for myself. im pathetic at times. thanks for putting up with me.
well we have to do this again jill and kate.
thats it for now folks.
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[29 Aug 2004|10:26pm] |
so today was a good day. however, it was seemingly long.
i woke up around 9. thinking i had slept late. what a dissapointment. so i sat around watching tv. then i watched butterfly effect. great movie i must say. wish i could do stuff like that. but i'd prob be a waste of that. i meen, i'd do something lame like choose a different flavor ice cream or something.
my life revolves around food. today for supper, i ate two hamburgers, a steak, a baked potato, 3 servings of pasta salad, and 2 1/2 pieces of corn on the cob. not to mention the pistatio pudding and ice cream for desert. im a fat kid. and i love food.
sam loves 40's era. christina aguilera sang a 40's song at the vma's. sam loves christina aguilera. i do too. but. for obviously different reasons. mainly because she likes to get dirty.
went to my place of work. well one of them. seeing as i have 3 i should probably be more specific. i went to acushnet creamery today. got myself a strawberry shortcake sundae. man do i love those things. then i swam it off in kyle's pool. water was great. but thats not all the swimming i did today.
ryan called and asked if i wanted to go swimming at long pond. of course i went because what could i possibly have planned. nothing. i have no life. so the water was nice. warm. but it was extremely murky. gross. then he pulls a fast one on me. he say, "hey, wanna swim to that bouey?". so i say sure. and i swim, thinking hes behind because im a faster swimmer. but i get about 4 feet to it and become tangled in weeds. and i don't meen i touched a few. my legs were caught. realy funny ryan. hope you got a good laugh. but hey, no hard feelings, i got my payback.
after that it was home. how exciting. just sitting online doing nothing.
i got a call today. from a friend whom i haven't realy seen or talked to for a while. but for the second time, we didn't hang out, even though she called and made plans. doesn't make sense.
theres one thing that is more sad than watching stupid award shows. its when every single person i knwo is watching them. talk about brainwashing.
i want a black fender 12-string acoustic with pickup and cutout, a marshall halfstack, a white 60's reissue telecaster, and about 6 pedals. too much to ask for? well, i guess im gonna be saving for a while.
but. thats it for my fun filled day. at least i can make people realize that they have a life. at the expsense of looking like a loser. heh.
until next time
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[28 Aug 2004|10:20pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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the flaming lips |
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well im just sitting here. nothing to do. no one is on. seems like everyone has something to do on saturday night. or maybe they don't. maybe they're just sitting around like i am.
probably not.
i have to get out of this state i'm in. i've become a shell of my former self. i have no expression anymore; no energy. im a big mass of underachievement.
sounds much more depressing than it is. i have a lot of free time. time to think, play guitar. sleep. oh, how i love to sleep.
i miss it. the comfort. the happiness. better stop though, im being too whiney. nothing worse than a kid who is whiney and clingy. man oh man, don't you just hate that.
buddhism is interesting. i want a shrine in my room. beats attending church. speaking of which.... i recently went to a mass. weird considering that it was my first time. but it was imediately preceeding a baptism i was attending, also strange in itself. the pastor, misister, what do you call him exactly? anyway, the person given the responsibility of delivering those moving sermans rubbed me the wrong way. now it wasn't his attempt to force his beliefs on me that i didn't like. it was in fact his dig at homer simpson. apparently he isn't a model neighbor, or citizen for that matter. he actually owned a lifesize cardboard cut-out of mr. simpson himself. as excited as i was to see this standing here, grabbing my attention and waking me from my day dream filled with unholy thoughts, soon my excitement excaped me, and it was filled with anger. this man of god as it would be, took it upon himself to insult homer. and that was an insult on me.
but anyway. that was an experience. i had some great donuts in the vinyard yesterday. i went to see the ben taylor band. such a great show. but the real story is when we were leaving. now im standing waiting for the ferry gates to open., and i glance across teh street. theres a sign down the road some that reads "donuts". or so i thought..... in actuality it read "the lookout". it was dark, i was tired. you would have made the same mistake. so i start my urgent run to-wards the "donut" place. after about 15 feet i realize my error. but there was still hope! some random guy offered me salvation. this is what he said "well if your looking for donuts there is a place open right now. go down past the police station. you'll get to a corner. take a left. when you get to the two corners with a donut place on one. (ye simple directions im already there!... but wait theres more) it will be closed. take a left, when you get to the post office take a right, take a right, they'll be a small parking lot. they'll be a backdoor on a building over there. thats "back-door donuts". now for a minute i thought he was kidding. but no. it exists! so i begin my run because the ferry is arriving in 15 minutes. and they are very punctual on arrivals and departures. i run and run, looking ammlisly for it. find a cop. and ask him. he thinks im kidding and takes it as a cop joke and gets rid of me in anger. i finally find it. it is the strangest thing. it is a place that could only be found m someone native to the vinyard. or someone with a six sense or something. i was expecting outrageous prices but they were only 75 cents a piece. money. well. spent. thats all i have to say. but the whole point of the story was missed.
i forgot to say it at the beginning. but here it is: don't you hate it when you get something on your mind, and you don't get satisfied.... nothing can get it off your mind, its horrible. if it weren't for that man, i would have wanted a donut all night, and i would have been miserable. thank you donut tracker.
well ive been rambling
for a while now.
i must get going before my one journal entry is longer than 10 of someone elses.
goodnight
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swarmyromance's journal